Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The Sweet Presence

I recently played for New Heart's concert in Singapore Life Church. Dr. Yenn, Dr. Ephraim, Derrick, Tai-chi, Dickson, Ngee Ping, Joshua, Kim and Judy are such amazing people to play with. I have certainly improved my sight reading by leaps and bounds since the first day I played with them, and I am indebted to Yenn for taking me in even though I was terrible at reading scores!

My personal highlight of the concert was during a song I didn't have parts to play, so I was seated and soaking in the incredible atmosphere of worship. The song was "Chen Zhang" (trans. Maturity), in which the pre-chorus has the lyrics (and I'm trying to translate to the best of my ability),

"Maybe trials are blessings in disguise,
Without which we wouldn't have the chance to mature."

Then it happened. An indescribably huge and invisible presence seemed to permeate through the walls of the concert hall and filled up the space above me. It seemed infinitely large, and what I was compared to this Being was like a drop of water facing the entirety of the ocean.

As large as this Being was, there was no fear, just a warmth swelling up from inside my heart. I knew who this Being was. It was God. It could only be God. He has appeared to me before, in the privacy of my room, in the crowded space of an MRT train, at the communion rails in church, and now, in this concert hall.

I felt God enveloping me. And every question I had inside, questions about what was I to do with life and what was I to accomplish in His name, how was He going to provide for Christine and I, how was I going to deal with the constant opposition to ministry--they drowned in this ocean of warmth and love that wrapped me. I could have hugged God right there. I wanted to burst into song and dance, I wanted to lie prostrate before Him in worship.

God was there. And I, a child, a son, a subject of the King, a servant, could not but worship Him with all of my heart in that concert hall. I felt like I had come home. I felt a sense of completion, like every fibre of my being had finally been rid of the vile proclivities to sin, and my spirit was free to be myself--I didn't have to pretend to be this "strong male leader" type, I didn't have to carry the labels of "ministry staff" or "intern" or "crazy guy who gave up a secular job". I didn't need a thousand reasons to justify every action and decision. I just was.

I couldn't see a physical form, but I felt God's smile. I couldn't hear any audible voice, but my spirit was resonating with a phrase that was planted in my heart, "You're right where I want you to be."

21 July 2013

The day God met me.

And of course, I couldn't help but take a gear photo for the night:

After all these years, I still can rely on Line 6 gear to last the night. This is in stark contrast to what happened in JB at Full Gospel Church, where we played the week after:

Do you notice how my volume pedal is going straight into the amp, bypassing my Timeline? That's because the 9V adapter that came with my Timeline died during rehearsal, and I had to play the concert without a delay pedal. Note to self: bring extra 9V adapter just in case.


so glad you can share the journey with us! we are so blessed by your participation, your music, your smile, your warmth....

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