I conducted a wake service on Sunday evening and helped out at a funeral on the Hari Raya public holiday. It was such a humbling experience and I am truly honored to be granted the opportunity to minister to the bereaved and grieving.
But to be honest, there was much fear and trembling when I was given this responsibility. I had never conducted a wake before (and by that I mean leading the service in worship, preaching, and giving the instructions to pay respects), so of course, some measure of nervousness was to be expected.
Perhaps the moment of greatest anxiety came when I happened upon some Facebook updates of a worship concert that was taking place on Saturday night while I was preparing the sermon, and my friends were serving there. "They have it easy, I wish I was worshipping on the guitar."
God was quick to give His clear instruction, "I've given this to you to do. This is your ministry."
So I prayed continually for strength and courage, and boy, did the Holy Spirit supply in abundance. I felt the familiar sense of empowerment that was not of my own. And as the moments passed, I ended up enjoying the process of preparation. I loved crafting the sermon, digesting the wonderful words of Psalm 23 and listening to the Spirit. I was worshipping with the songs I had chosen for the time of worship. As much as I was to be a minister to people, I was being ministered to.
So the moment came when I had to conduct the service. I still felt nervous, but there was a strength and assurance that was unmistakably from God. Did I do a perfect job? Nope; I slipped up on a few words of my script, my personal ad-lib was far from eloquent, and as always, I sometimes let my mind race too fast for my words to catch up.
But there was a connection I had with God and with the "congregation" of people gathered at the wake. I can't describe it very well, but it felt like my actions and my words were a pair of spectacles to help people see God for who He is, our provider of comfort, strength and hope when it hurts the most. The emotional response as a result of understanding those words choked me to tears; I felt grieved at the loss, but I had a joy that our dear brother in the Lord is secure, and we shall be reunited when Christ comes again.
I may feel inadequate in many things and at many times. But I'm discovering and experiencing first-hand that it is precisely those moments that God chooses to empower me, so that I may not boast. Indeed, in my weakness is His strength complete.
Psalm 23:6
Surely your goodness and love will follow meall the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
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